The last week has been full of major decisions and accomplishments.
First the decisions....Last week we decided to not go to our quarterly adoption support meeting AND decided to put our book on hold. This means we are currently not actively showing to any birth mothers. Clearly, this was not an easy decision but Brad and I both feel it is the best move at this time. In July, I will try one more time to get/stay pregnant on my own and we are thinking about switching adoption agencies. Since these are two big things we feel putting adoption stuff on hold for the next month or two was the best move.
Next, accomplishments! I ran my first half marathon!! My goal was to run the whole thing but I guess after a week of tough decisions and the anxiety of running my first race, my stomach was acting really weird- I had self diagnosed myself with an either an ulcer, hernia, or stomach cancer, hahhaha. So needless to say I didn't have my best foot forward but I still ran pretty well until about mile 9 when it was uphill in the wind...so I decided to walk 2 miles then finish strong. I finished in 2:24 which was in the top half of my age group so I guess I will take that PLUS I am pretty confident I can beat that time so it gives me a goal to stride for:)
I'm blessed by the support! It was so great to do this with one of my good friends Chelsea! If it had not been for her running it I totally would have backed out Sunday night b/c I was in "pain". Thanks Chels!!
Most importantly, Brad came out to watch/cheer me on and he was so excited and supportive when I finished it made me feel so good and honestly kind of shocked me:) His big words of wisdom prior to the race was "just keep running" "its no big deal". I guess he was doing that to keep me from getting even more nervous. Now, I didn't finish anywhere near his first marathon time (1:31).....can you believe he ran that dang thing almost an hour faster than me!! What a show off, haha.
Regardless of my time or stopping, there was just something unexplainable about having him cheer me on and hug me at the end -I guess it is what makes me feel like I can do anything, i.e try to get pregnant, adopt, run another marathon, do a handstand, etc:)
I found your blog through Lauren and I have spent the half hour trying to figure out when you changed your mind about adoption. I completely understand...we have been told adoption is not for weenies. Not saying you are one :0 but it is a huge risk and I cannot fathom your loss of the BM backing out. I know the IVF will work...but if you go back to consider adoption for baby #2 I would recommend our agency www.aimadoptions.org It is in Houston which for us was a three hour drive, but so much about it was perfect for us. I too ran a half marathon during my marriage problems/infertility etc. and it was the proudest thing I have ever done for myself. Loved reading your updates.
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