Feeling like myself again

I am on my 2nd week of a detox.  This detox is pretty simple, basically you just can't eat breads, sugars, dairy, and nuts.  You drink a shake in the morning that helps "cleanse" your system and by doing all of this your hormone levels get back on track, you feel better, and look better.  I have done this detox many times but honestly I cheat on it sometimes. I figure a glass of wine now and then doesn't hurt....wine comes from grapes, right? HA! Ironically, I did this detox before two of my pregnancies- is that one of the things that help me get pregnant?  Who knows!?!  It is just another piece in my infertility story.   When I am pregnant I am worried if I work out too hard I will overheat and hurt the baby and while I am not pregnant I am working out, dieting, and stressing about my weight, meanwhile mad at myself for wasting months out of the gym for what ended up being nothing..... I have never been one of those people that could eat anything they wanted- I used to get so irritated that a certain best friend of mine could eat anything she wanted and lose weight while if I ate the same I would gain 5lbs immediately.  Everybody is different and every BODY is different- that is so much more true to me now.

This time I am sticking to the detox pretty hard core and I have noticed I am beginning to look a little thinner, feel better and have more energy.  It is really amazing how much better I feel when I don't eat processed foods....even though I love them so!  Cookies, ice cream, bread- yum!! I finally decided to read a book Brad has had for a long time The Paleo Solution.  I have only read the first few chapters so far but already I am in shock and feel like he is talking about parts of my life.  I had my gallbladder removed and I am being tested for immune system disorders- the same problems he discusses.  I feel like that commercial with the donuts and soccer practice is so true- you are what you eat.  If I eat a whole bunch of chemically altered food- basically poisoned food- then I should not be surprised my body is being affected by it and reacting. Would I drink poison? Obviously no, so why do I do eat food that contains poison- oh yeah because it taste so good. I am not saying I will never eat bread, cookies or cheese again but it sure will make we think twice before taking a bite!

I am really starting to feel like myself again.  I don't know if it is the detox,  just the fact that time has passed since my miscarriages and grandma's funeral, or the fact that I have actually gone a month without anything serious happening but it feels so good! I am happier and don't feel like just sleeping all the time.  I am at a place right now where I almost dread starting the "TTC" process again and even more dread finding out my results from my blood work.  Will my world get rocked again by being told the results?  Will nothing be wrong and therefore I am just back where I was 9 months ago?  When I am trying to get pregnant or when I am pregnant I tend to be an emotional and obsessive basket case- I hate it- so I guess avoiding the process has been in a way, good for me. But, there will be no more avoiding after this week, I am just praying that the blood work shows minor- fixable- problems.  I know God has a plan.....I just kind of wish I knew what it was:)
  
 Detox information: 21 day Body Makeover