July 7th 2012

I think I will remember this year for a long time.  My life has been an emotional roller coaster and every time I think it is calming down the phone rings. Its either a doctor or family member.  When the doctors call it seems its about how my hormone levels are not where they should be or I need to come in for more testing- I have given so much blood I could feed a family of vampires for a year, ha.

This year I have not only received tough calls about my pregnancy but about family as well.  My grandad (who passed away in January), my dad, and Friday a call about my grandma.    I grew up one house down from my grandma.  I can still smell her pancakes any time I come across the Smurfs on TV- Ben and I would run down to her house every Saturday morning, eat pancakes, and watch the Smurfs.  She was so loving and really taught me that family is important- family always loves you.  I could write out a thousand memories my grandma and I shared but one more recently was when I told her I was adopting.  She was so happy- she made me tell everyone at a family dinner- even my little cousins who probably were just like "okay".  She was just happy that I wasn't giving up on trying to have a family.  She told me that there is nothing in life that can compare to having a family and she was so right. 


Her passing is hard for me.  I am so lucky to have spent so many meaningful days with her and that a little piece of her will always live on through me. I am comforted by the fact that she is no longer in pain and I know she is in Heaven with my Grandpa Beasley, Uncle Billy, and my sweet angels.

I have to be honest, I am waiting for some happy news.  Hopefully, the second half 2012 will treat me better than the first.  One thing I can be sure of its all in God's hands....thankfully I know that with him I can get through anything!


Me and Grandma celebrating her 80th birthday.